


But I Continue Learning

by medusa20



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M, Gift Fic, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-26
Updated: 2011-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:43:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medusa20/pseuds/medusa20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny and Sheldon begin a secret affair. They don't want to hurt Leonard or Amy, but will they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Continue Learning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lauran41](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauran41/gifts).



_Penny braces her hands against his chest. Slowly, he lifts her left leg, bending it slightly. Her back arches and he slides ever deeper into her. Nights like this are so rare. So very, very rare. The rhythm of his hips increases. She bites her bottom lip to keep from crying out. Her utterances are always his undoing and she wants this moment to last as long as it can. His mouth is seeking hers again. His tongue strokes across her teeth asking for entry. Penny yields to him; the warmth of his mouth a perfect compliment to the heat of their joined bodies. His arm now hooks under her right leg. The angle deepens. He breaks the kiss._

 _“Penny.” Her name is barely a whisper_

 _She presses a kiss to his damp temple, “Mmm, Sweetie. This is so good. You’re so deep.” She clings to him as her words increase the force of his thrusts. “Oh God. Harder! Harder.” Her bed gives an ominous creak. She can feel her orgasm building. He slows to deep grinding rotations, signaling he can feel the small tremors within her as well and lets one of her legs fall to the bed._

 _Her nails score down the center of his spine. He throws his head back and she reaches up to kiss the length of his exposed neck. Her teeth nip at the sensitive skin there. One clockwise rotation; another counterclockwise. Their eyes meet. His hand brushes one damp curl back from her face. His hips arc once more, hitting at the perfect angle. She is gone. Over the edge. Drowning in blue._

X

When Penny made her plans to move to California, she read up on earthquakes. She got all the terminology down - epicenter, aftershocks, magnitude, intensity and magma. She actually became so interested in the topic that she could toss around terms like “divergent plate boundary” and “recurrence interval” with ease. She read about famous and not so famous earthquakes and even made an attempt to understand plate tectonics before the chaos of moving consumed all her attention. Despite her preparation, she really wasn’t ready when that first quake hit.

It was a Wednesday - HALO night-she and Sheldon had gone to pick up dinner. Penny was actually looking forward to this evening of games and Chinese food she couldn’t really afford. It seemed like forever since she had hung out alone with “her boys”. Sheldon preceded her up the stairs, digging out his key while Penny juggled the two large bags of takeout.

“Penny,” Sheldon said over his shoulder. “You and I will be partners tonight.”

Penny grunted as she balanced a bag on her thigh, “Of course, Sheldon. Who else would you partner with? You are planning on winning, right?”

Sheldon turned to her. He watched her wrestle with the bags for a few moments before he reached out to take the one that was burning her thigh. His fingers brushed along her skin and Penny froze.

“I’ll take this bag.” Sheldon said needlessly though he didn’t move and his fingertips settled more onto her leg.

Penny nodded and he stepped back and opened the door. She started to follow him and just as she was asking why they had ordered so much food, a voice called, “Hey Bestie!”

Penny stopped in the doorway, “Amy?”

Amy was sitting in the middle of the couch decked out in her finest beige ensemble with the gold barrette in her hair being her only adornment. She waved frantically at Penny who felt a flicker of annoyance at the other woman’s presence. She genuinely liked Amy, but Penny sometimes missed being the center of attention and a night like this would have given her that opportunity again. Clearly, Amy had been here for a while since Leonard had the table all set for six and Raj was already on the extra chair.

“Sheldon,” Penny called sweetly. “You didn’t tell me Amy was going to be here.”

Sheldon looked up from the bag he was emptying then to Amy sitting by his elbow.

“I didn’t think it mattered,” He shrugged. “Now we have even teams.”

“Hey, Penny, what are you drinking?” Leonard called from the kitchen. Howard waved to her and continued to place the drinks Leonard was handing to him on a tray.

“Anything is fine.” Penny said absently. She walked over to the couch and sat beside Amy.

“What are you doing?” Sheldon asked. Amy was separating chopsticks.

“Sitting.” Penny replied. “Unlike you, I as well as everyone else here, can sit anywhere in this apartment.”

“You most certainly do not sit anywhere.” Sheldon protested. “For the better part of our acquaintance, you have sat on my right when you aren’t trying to worm your way into my spot.”

Amy paused, “We can switch, Penny. I don’t mind.”

“See,” Sheldon opened his container. “Amy understands. Sit, Penny.”

“I’m staying here.” Penny ended her sentence with a slight growl in her voice so Amy wouldn’t move.

Things didn’t improve much after dinner since they decided to play Pong instead of HALO to give Amy a fighting chance

“Amy, you can partner with Leonard. Penny is with me and Howard and Raj.” Sheldon read off the roster.

“I assumed you and I would be partners, Sheldon,” Amy ventured. .

He looked down at her, “That wouldn’t make much sense. I’m a very strong player which would curtail your playing time. Penny and I are more evenly matched while Leonard is just a poor enough player that you’ll actually get a turn.” He nodded, indicating he was pleased with his logic.

“Oh my God!” Penny muttered to herself. “Ah, Sheldon, Sweetie, can I talk to you outside,” Penny pointed to the door, “just for a sec?” She opened the door and waited for him to walk into the hall before pulling it closed behind her.

“Sheldon, have you lost your mind?” Penny exploded. She felt her cheeks redden with every word. “We cannot be partners tonight.”

“But we’re always partners,” Sheldon said.

“Sheldon, Amy is here. We cannot be partners tonight. Don’t you get that?” Penny waved her hands around.

Sheldon tilted his head. Penny watched as he seemed to be processing her words.

Finally, he said, “I fail to see why Amy’s presence has to ruin what, up until now, had been a rather enjoyable evening that I was very much looking forward to. However, as you are far more skilled in social interaction, I will partner with Amy as you insist.”

“Good.” Penny breathed. “It’s the right thing to do.” She placed her hand on his shoulder to steer him back toward 4A.

“Is it?” Sheldon looked down at her hand. Penny’s eyes widened as his hand reached up, barely brushing the tips of her fingers before he shook off her touch and went inside.

She stood in the hall for a few moments, acknowledging that the heat on her fingers was the same as the heat on her thigh and all from Sheldon’s touch. As she considered his last question, a word from her brief interest in earthquakes came to mind. It referred to a small tremor that commonly precedes a larger earthquake or main shock by seconds to weeks and that originates at or near the focus of the larger earthquake.

“Foreshock.” Penny whispered before she went back inside.

X

 _Penny doesn’t drift off to sleep afterwards. She rests on her elbow, the sheets rumpled around her waist and watches Sheldon as he dozes beside her. His subconscious is clearly aware that he is not in his own bed because he twitches and murmurs in his sleep. Penny’s mind is racing in circles with too many thoughts to allow her even a few moments rest. Besides, she doesn’t want to waste a moment of this evening, knowing that any minute now Sheldon will bolt awake and scurry back across the hall even though Leonard won’t be back until tomorrow._

 _She falls onto her back and huffs out a sigh before looking over at Sheldon again. It’s really not fair that he should be allowed to sleep when every minute they are together, Penny can’t stop thinking about the havoc that will erupt if this relationship is ever discovered._

 _Amy._

 _Leonard._

 _The two people neither of them would ever want to hurt yet they would be the worst casualties. Her hand reaches out to draw an invisible line connecting the freckles on Sheldon’s right shoulder. He flinches at her touch and buries under the blanket. Penny rolls over to press light kisses along the lines she just drew. She looks up to see Sheldon gazing down at her._

 _“Woman, you are insatiable.” He scolds. Her reply is to run her tongue up his shoulder. Sheldon lifts his arm and Penny curls into his chest._

 _“You were thinking again.” He isn’t questioning her. His hand runs lightly over her breast and, when his fingers brush over her nipple, they grow more insistent. And he calls her insatiable?_

 _“This isn’t fair to them, Sheldon.”_

 _He kisses her. Slow. Languorous. She opens her mouth under his before he rolls on top of her once more._

 _“What do you propose we do?” He asks then bends his head to work at the dip between her neck and shoulder._

 _For a moment, her train of thought is gone. She is lost in the sensation of his lips and tongue as they travel from shoulder to collarbone to the top swell of her breast._

 _“I …I don’t want to stop.” Penny finally admits. “I know we should tell them and I know that this is wrong.” Her eyes close as he begins to suck in earnest at her raised nipple. “God, that is good.” She pants. “I don’t want this to end, Sheldon.”_

 _He makes no comment as he moves to the other breast, caressing it and rolling her nipple between his tongue and teeth until Penny is writhing beneath him; her thighs are slick._

 _“I have no intention of letting that happen.” He finally says as he joins with her once more._

X

On days when Penny is tired of feeling guilty, she blames Amy. If Amy hadn’t kissed Sheldon that night that he went out with Penny, Amy and Bernadette then told Penny about it the next morning, Penny wouldn’t have felt the need to torment him when they did laundry the following night.

Penny was barely awake that morning when Amy knocked at her door.

“Hi Bestie.” Amy trod in, sunglasses shielding her eyes even though it was almost nine o’clock.

“What’s up?” Penny motioned for Amy to sit.

Amy sat quietly, massaging her temples for a few moments. She looked straight at Penny which was disconcerting since her eyes were hidden behind dark black glasses. It was like being scrutinized by an insect.

“I kissed Sheldon last night.”

Penny had several reactions to that statement. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened but what disturbed her most was how her stomach seemed to plummet to the floor.

“Shut. Up.” Penny dropped into the chair near her couch. “What was it like? Who kissed who first it? Was it good?” Penny realized she was leaning closer and closer to Amy with each question. “Were his lips really soft? I always figured he’d have really soft lips- he’s such a Chapstick nut.” Penny babbled before noticing Amy’s hands clenched in her lap.

“As is common with overindulgence of alcohol, I have little recollection of the event,” Amy began. “I had to ask Sheldon for the details this morning.” Penny shook her head sympathetically. She had definitely been there.

“So what happens now?” Penny said. “Have you officially changed your status from girl-who-is–a-friend-but-not-my-girlfriend to actual girlfriend now?” Why was her nose wrinkling as she said those words?

Amy shook her head and winced immediately so Penny quickly rose from her chair to get her friend some aspirin and a glass of water. Amy smiled at her gratefully before swallowing.

“Sheldon suggested we return to the last satisfactory point of our relationship, a sort of ‘rebooting’ if you will. I agreed to his terms but I am afraid I was wrong to do so.”

Penny’s hands gripped the arm of her chair. She couldn’t see Amy’s eyes, couldn’t read her reaction so she did her best to play it cool.

“Why is that, Amy?”

Amy slumped down on Penny’s couch. She pushed her sunglasses up to rest on top of her head.

Penny blinked in surprise. She hadn’t seen someone look this bad from a hangover since homecoming of her senior year when Mary Alice Foley tried to drink some of the football players under the table.

“I can’t stop thinking about that kiss, Bestie.” Amy finally admitted. “I am sure by most standards it was highly unremarkable. Heck, that nun Sheldon resuscitated probably had more finesse than I but…” Amy paused.

The air seemed to shift with her words. Penny traced a circle on the rug with her toe. She really didn’t want Amy to finish the rest of her sentence. She knew what was right and appropriate; what Amy was waiting for her to say but, deep down, a little voice was whispering _“I saw him first.”_

X

That night, in the laundry room, it all started off so innocently. Penny was folding Sheldon’s shirts with his board while he threw his dark load in the wash.

“So,” Penny drawled, “I heard someone got some action last night.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

Sheldon glanced over at her then continued to match up socks.

“C’mon , Sheldon,” Penny nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. He desperately needed some fattening up. “I want details. Amy doesn’t remember a thing, only what you told her. Did you like it? Would you be willing to do it again? Are you guys a ‘couple’ now?”

Penny kept her voice light but, for some reason a lump lodged in her stomach. Sheldon dropped the socks. He added detergent to the machine, slammed down the lid then turned on the dryer.

“Penny, I do not find the thought of revisiting that kiss appealing. Nor do I intend to indulge in your thirst for salacious gossip.”

“So is it kissing or kissing Amy that has your panties in a twist?” Penny clarified.

Sheldon leaned against the machine. “The human mouth is a bastion of bacteria. Streptococcus mutans and Lactobacilli, Streptococcus mitis, Spirochetes, to name a few.”

“I love it when you talk dirty.” Penny panted theatrically and Sheldon gave her a smirk in response.

“I can understand your hesitation,” Penny continued. “If you’ve never kissed someone, the first time can be intimidating. Plus, she was drunk and you are such a stand-up guy…”

“What makes you think I haven’t kissed anyone?”

Penny stopped in mid-fold. “I just assumed.” Sheldon nudged her aside so he could continue folding his Aquaman shirt. Now, Penny stood against the machine he had just been leaning against.

“Penny, I am a scientist. I do not draw conclusions based on conjecture. My stance on kissing was confirmed when I was home from Germany and one of Missy’s more wanton friends thought it would be amusing to assault me. I ended up with a cold sore.” He shuddered at the memory.

Penny cleared her throat. She knew she shouldn’t have asked the next question but, lately, she had been doing a lot of things she shouldn’t have.

“So, you never wanted to kiss anyone?”

Sheldon looked up from his folding. Penny wore her yellow shirt and her denim shorts revealed smooth, tanned legs. She saw him swallow and continued to stare at him. The air in the laundry room seemed to thicken. How many times had she and Sheldon ended up in one of these silent staring contests? He began to speak but no words came out. She was reminded of that first day when they met- how he had leaned toward her and she was so intrigued by the mind that was behind those killer eyes. The clothes thudded and sloshed in the machine behind her and the silence grew.

He covered the distance between them in two steps. His hands landed on either side of her face, his lips pressed down on hers. Penny was so stunned, she didn’t move. She tried to say his name and, when her lips moved, Sheldon parted his and groaned. Penny actually swooned at the sound! Penny deepened the kiss, letting her tongue give an exploratory flick and Sheldon repeated her actions.

Her hands were circled around his thin wrists. She ran her hands down his exposed forearms and felt her face flush. Sheldon caught her top lip then switched to her bottom then back again. Penny hopped on top of the washing machine and pulled Sheldon closer. He gave another deep groan. Her panties were wet.

They clung to each other and explored each other’s mouths. Sheldon leaned Penny back on the machine. Oh God, if he managed to climb on top of her here, she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions. Sheldon broke the kiss and Penny heard him murmuring numbers and the word “angle”. He had one knee almost on the machine with all his weight braced on his extended right leg. Sheldon placed three kisses in rapid succession on her throat and began to push off with his leg. The dryer buzzed and he froze with his head turned toward it.

Penny pushed herself up in order to get off the washer. Sheldon’s arms still cradled her. His breathing returned to normal. She slid forward but only succeeded in wedging herself between Sheldon and the machine. Her legs fell on either side of his. Sheldon’s long neck was fully exposed to her. They should stop - the buzzer had been a warning- but Penny didn’t care. She leaned forward to kiss and nibble on the skin at the side of his neck. Once more, that delicious groan rumbled forth. Sheldon’s hips rocked into her. Penny’s eyes rolled under her closed lids as she felt everything. He pulled her closer and she increased the pressure on the curve of his neck. Sheldon pushed more forcefully into her; Penny’s stomach began to quiver. He took her ear between his teeth.

“Sheldon!” she gasped in surprise. He let go of her so suddenly that, if she hadn’t been braced on the machine, Penny would have hit the floor. His eyes were wide with shock like he couldn’t believe that he, Sheldon Lee Cooper, had managed to cause such a reaction in a woman. Sheldon grabbed an empty laundry basket and pulled the clothes out of the dryer heedless to the fact that both his and Penny’s clothes were tossed together. Picking up the basket, he bolted out of the room. Penny’s knees gave out and she sank to the floor while her heart raced. When she had composed herself some ten minutes later, she trudged up the stairs only to find a basket of neatly folded laundry outside her door.

X

 _She has Sheldon flipped on his back. His hands are hooked behind her knees, giving her the leverage she needs. She rests her left hand on the top of his thigh and grinds fully into him. He throws his head back into the pillow. Her name escapes his clenched teeth; Penny grins at his loss of control. Nights like this are so few and far between. She’ll sacrifice anything not to lose them._

X

The knocks she had been waiting for came just before eleven. Penny threw on her robe and opened the door. Sheldon stood rigid in the doorway.

“You’re still up.” Penny leaned against her doorjamb.

“As are you.” Sheldon replied.

“I take it you want to discuss that little episode downstairs.” She noticed they were mimicking each other’s posture- arms crossed, robes belted tightly. ‘Mirroring’ is a sign of mutual attraction, isn’t it? Penny dropped her arms and slid her hands into the pockets of her robe. Much better.

“I want to talk about Leonard.” Sheldon clasped his hands in front of him. Okay, not an identical mirror, but close enough…what is wrong with her tonight?

“Leonard?” Penny was confused. “Sheldon, what about Amy? You kissed her, too. Remember?”

“Amy kissed me.” Sheldon corrected. “Under the influence of alcohol, which is, quite frankly, your doing. Come to think of it, Beverly Hofstadter also kissed me under the exact same circumstances. Once again, you are to blame for this upset to my state of mind.”

Penny glared at him then began to close her door, “Good night, Sheldon.”

His arm shot out and he blocked the door’s progress with his foot. Penny pushed at the door but Sheldon had it firmly wedged.

“Sheldon, it’s late,” she whined. “This has been a really confusing day- Amy kissed you, you kissed me...”

“You kissed me back,” he interjected.

“So what if I did?” Penny snapped. “At least I wasn’t drunk when I did it.”

“No, you most certainly weren’t.” Sheldon had an odd little smile on his face. Penny blinked and drew back, suddenly realizing she had risen on her tip-toes and Sheldon had bent down toward her.

“Leonard’s your best friend.” Penny whispered. Her head tilted.

“Amy claims you as hers.” Sheldon whispered back. His breath was warm and tinged with cinnamon.

What else was there to say?

X

It was so easy after that. Penny never thought Sheldon could be this way with her. Granted, he still had all his rules, still was fiercely territorial about his spot and still wouldn’t share his food with her but when they were alone, the change, though minimal, was mind-boggling.

She met him at the mailboxes one afternoon exactly a week after the midnight kiss in the hall. They really hadn’t spent any time together since then and Penny approached him warily.

“Hey Sheldon.”

“Good afternoon, Penny,” Sheldon answered. He whipped through the stack of letters in his hand. Penny opened her box and withdrew a similar pile of envelopes. The beginning of the month always made her cringe- nothing but bills and other reminders of her precarious financial situation. She looked up to find Sheldon standing nearby.

“What?” Penny shoved the envelopes in her bag.

“What?” Sheldon echoed.

“Why are you standing there like that?”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat. “I am waiting to escort you upstairs.”

Penny blinked at him, “Escort me?”

Sheldon sighed. His eyes skipped around the empty vestibule then he gave his shoulder strap a tug. Penny felt a small smile appear on her lips. His uncertainty was one of his more adorable traits.

“I’m,” Sheldon began as he met her eyes. “I am waiting to walk up the stairs with you. We always talk when we do that. I find bouncing my thoughts and observations off you far more satisfying than recording them in my journal.”

“You like the instant feedback.” Penny smirked as she headed for the stairwell.

“I like you.” Sheldon said simply, brushing his hand against hers as they began their ascent.

“So, where is Leonard?” Penny asked.

“I stayed late to work with Raj,” Sheldon explained. “He drove me home.” Penny nodded and they continued to walk. “Are you joining us for dinner this evening?”

“I hadn’t planned on it but if you want me to...” She hesitated.

“I do.” Sheldon took out his keys. “Perhaps you could make spaghetti for me one night this week?”

Penny grinned, “Sure, Sweetie. That would be nice.”

Sheldon inserted his key in the lock but the door swung open. Leonard was there and Penny could see Amy standing by the coffee table.

“Amy?” Sheldon cried. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, she’s been here for a while, Sheldon.” Leonard answered. “We actually had some tea and a rather enlightening conversation about research protocols while we waited for you. Oh. Hi, Penny.”

Penny gave Leonard a half-hearted wave. “I’ll see you guys.”

“Wait!” Sheldon called. “What about dinner?”

Penny looked back at the three of them positioned in the doorway. It was an odd scene with Sheldon pleading silently with her, Leonard’s brow furrowed as he gauged Sheldon’s reaction and Amy between the two of them in the spot where Penny used to be.

“No thanks.” Her smile was half-hearted. “Too crowded.”

X

 _“Tell me what you like.” Penny whispers in his ear. The skin on his cheek is damp with perspiration._

 _“I…I like this.” Sheldon gasps. Penny is still rolling her hips against his. Her every motion is slow, deliberate while Sheldon’s fingers dig into her thighs, release, and then dig in once more._

 _“There has to be something else.” Penny purrs, bracing her hand on his abdomen and raising herself up a bit more then taking Sheldon in completely again. Sheldon grips her hips in a vain attempt to control her movements. Penny holds his hands by the wrists and rises up almost on her knees to lower herself down inch by inch. Sheldon groans out a mixture of need and frustration. Penny smiles and repeats the motion again, eliciting the same response._

 _Sheldon is trying to match her rhythm and he almost does until she clenches her muscles around him._

 _“Dear Lord.” His teeth are clenched. His hips buck wildly beneath her._

 _“No, no, no, Sweetie,” Penny leans forward to brush her lips against his ear. “Slow. Nice and slow.” Her hips make a deep rotation around him. Sheldon shakes his head, his hips meeting hers forcefully again. A quiet laugh escapes her- he always wants his own way._

 _“Tell me what you need, Sheldon.” Penny asks again. His hands rest on her hips and his glance falls to the jointure of their bodies. His eyes meet hers. Penny is instantly on guard. She knows that look- it is the look that indicates that he’s just made a new connection in that mind of his. Each thrust delivers a jolt of pure pleasure through her as she realizes he’s changed the angle of his hips just a bit. He hits the spot deep in her again, causing her to cry out and fall forward onto his chest. The bed is creaking from the force of their movements. Penny’s breathing hitches and she moans. Sheldon places his lips to her throat._

 _“Penny. Penny. Penny. I just need you”_

X

Penny finished dusting the last row of bottles, turning each one so the label faced outward. She startled when she turned back to the bar.

“Amy! What are you doing here?”

Amy smiled, “I need your advice, Bestie. It’s about Sheldon.”

Penny picked up a cloth and began wiping down the spotless bar.

“Did you kiss him again?” Penny kept her eyes down and she rubbed frantically at an invisible spot on the bar.

“No,” Amy sighed. “He has kept his part of our bargain and made no reference to that evening or that incident but he’s different.”

“Different?’ Penny squeaked. She loaded the garnish bin with maraschino cherries before wiping her hands off in order to slice lemons. “Different how?”

Amy tapped her fingers lightly on the bar, “He seemed distracted.”

“Distracted?” Penny’s knife sliced methodically through the lemon as she listened. “How can you tell?”

“It’s the little things,” Amy said. “I’ll catch him smiling at odd times. His attention actually wandered while we were video chatting last night. I was describing the Glioblastoma Multiforme tumor I found in a cross-section of brain tissue and when I looked at him, it was clear he wasn’t listening to me at all. His eyes were glazed and this tiny half-smile was at the corner of his mouth.”

Penny had begun quartering limes but she knew exactly what had distracted Sheldon. She had waited until Leonard left to pick up dinner and then had scurried across the hall. Sheldon was in his spot, setting up his laptop to talk to Amy when Penny came in.

 _“I don’t even know why we bother with the door if you are just going to barge right in here.” He snapped when he saw it was her._

 _“Shut up.” Penny walked over, pushed him back against the couch and straddled him._

 _“Penny!” Sheldon’s arms flailed about. “Leonard will be back any moment.”_

 _“No he won’t.” She answered as she began nibbling on Sheldon’s left ear lobe. “He’s gone to pick up soup at Souplantation and I’ll bet he didn’t listen to the traffic reports like I did so he won’t know about the tie-up on East Colorado.”_

 _“Tie- up!” Sheldon cried. “I should call him.”_

 _He reached for the phone but Penny grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast. She shifted forward so her hips were aligned with his. Sheldon’s eyes widened with understanding. “I’d say,” her voice was husky. “We have a good twenty to twenty five minutes before he returns.” Her mouth covered his. Soon, Sheldon had threaded his fingers through her hair. Penny rocked her hips and explored his mouth with her tongue. Sheldon broke the kiss and began working on the skin along the side of her neck just like she had told him she liked. Penny threw her head back as she felt the flicks and strokes of his tongue. Her breath came in gasps; every touch of his mouth against her throat enflamed her._

 _“I miss you.” She breathed, clutching at his shirtfront as his teeth grazed the skin behind her ear._

 _“You see me every day.” Sheldon murmured then raised his head to kiss her deeply. Penny gave in to the sensation of wet and heat, of edges of teeth and sharpness of lips. Sheldon like this was nothing like she ever imagined. While she did see him every day, he maintained a cool façade. Only when he was certain they were not being watched would she feel a fleeting touch or get a quick wink but Penny wanted more. She wanted him to stay the night. She wanted to spend time with just him without the pretense of video games or pizza night. She wanted (oh how she wanted) to finally know every inch of his body. She changed the angle of their kiss then changed it again. A small growl was emanating from Sheldon’s throat as he chased after her lips. Penny braced her hands on his shoulders and began to slide down the length of his body, trailing her hands down his chest._

 _“Penny?” Sheldon’s voice held more than its usual note of anxiety. “Penny, what are you doing?”_

 _“Relax, Sheldon. You have to trust me.” She positioned herself between his knees and unbuttoned his pants._

 _“Penny. This…I really don’t think…”_

 _“Shhhh” Penny tossed her hair over shoulder. She began to reach for the waistband of his briefs when the knob of the door clicked. Penny tried to get to her feet but her shoulder hit the coffee table; Sheldon had buttoned his pants and yanked the computer onto his lap. Penny had just clambered to her feet when Leonard came in._

 _“Sheldon, I couldn’t get to Souplantation. The traffic was,” He stopped when he saw Penny and a frown pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Hi.”_

 _“Hey Leonard.” Penny smiled and fought the urge to rub her shoulder. “Um…I’ll see you, Sheldon.”_

 _Sheldon was tapping at the keyboard; he barely glanced up at her as she left. Penny waited outside the closed door. She could hear Leonard through the door asking, “What was Penny doing here?”_

 _Sheldon’s reply was indistinct but she caught every word of Leonard’s._

 _“Sheldon, I asked you a question. Why was she here? She turned bright red when she saw me. Were you two arguing?” There was a pause and then Leonard said, “What’s wrong with your eye?”_

 _Finally, she heard Sheldon, “Leonard, Penny wanders between these two apartments like a lost cat. The more important question is what am I supposed to do now for dinner?”_

 _Leonard’s reply is inaudible but Sheldon’s is loud and clear, “Well, that was an uncalled for response. Does it always have to become about coitus with you?_

 _Penny moved away from the door as the voices behind 4A began to rise. If Leonard stormed out and found her eavesdropping, she wasn’t sure she could finesse her way out of it. Casually, she rubbed her neck and winced slightly._

 _Lovebite._

 _She’d have to figure out a way to wear her hair down at work again._

“That’s the look.” Amy’s voice broke through her reverie.

“What?” Penny blinked.

“You just had the same look on your face that Sheldon had.” Amy pointed at Penny.

“Amy, I’m supposed to be working. Did you want to ask me something?”

“Oh yes,” Amy cleared her throat. “As I said, Sheldon hasn’t shown any indication that he would want to revisit physical contact but he did ask me to go to a lecture on probing cell mechanics and cell-cell interactions with tailored magnetic nanoparticles.”

“He’s a real Romeo, that Sheldon.” Penny snorted.

“I know, “Amy enthused. “So, what should I wear? Will you do my hair and makeup? How can I get him to hold my hand?”

Penny answered each of Amy’s questions with a smile pasted on her face and a taste in her mouth more bitter than lemons she had just been slicing.

X

 _The taste of him. Of her. Of **them** overwhelms her senses. Sheldon is all mint, Ivory soap and precision. Penny is vanilla, jasmine body wash and experience. She inhales deeply, runs her tongue over the dip in his shoulder, savors the two of them in her mouth. She lifts her head and Sheldon meets her gaze._

 _“Good?” she asks._

 _He doesn’t answer, just lays there quietly holding her to his chest. When his breathing returns to normal, he nods and strokes her hair._

 _Sex is when he is speechless. When he only speaks in gestures, touches and whispers. In fact, he won’t start his usual running commentary until he is fully out of her bed. She once asked him about it, his switch from endless chatter to near-silence. She was used to men who constantly asked for or needed reassurance or offered their own assessment on the activities occurring between the sheets, why not him? He actually got out of bed before answering her._

 _“I know as I say this,” He hitched the sheet around his waist.” That it is all going to come out terribly wrong. I am introspective, “quiet” to use your word, because when we are engaged in coitus,” Penny winced, “and the various pre and post-coital activities,” Sheldon paused then took a big breath before continuing, “It is the one time I don’t think.”_

 _Penny blinked at him. Her instincts told her to bristle at his words. She started to protest but Sheldon sat back down on the bed and took her hand._

 _“I don’t have to think with you, Penny. I can just be.”_

X

When Leonard buried his head in the refrigerator for a drink, Penny nudged Sheldon in the ribs.

“Hey, how come you didn’t ask me if I wanted to go to the probing cell mechanics and cell-cell interactions with tailored magnetic nanoparticles lecture?”

Sheldon shifted closer toward the arm of the couch- Leonard had just slammed the refrigerator door shut-and cast a wary glance at Penny.

“Hey!” Leonard called. “Either of you guys want some cocoa?”

“None for me!” Sheldon shouted a bit too loudly then dropped his voice to say, “Are you interested in attending the nanoparticles lecture?”

Penny grinned wickedly at him. Seeing Sheldon completely baffled was such a rare sight. She snaked her hand behind his back and under his shirt to rub a circle in the small of his back. Sheldon jumped, craning his neck to see if Leonard was paying attention to them.

“No thanks, Leonard,” Penny said before turning back to Sheldon. “No,” She batted her eyes at him. “But there must be a topic out there that I would like?”

Sheldon drummed his fingers on the armrest. Leonard slammed the door of the microwave closed which earned him a nasty glare from his roommate.

“I do recall seeing that next Wednesday there will be a lecture on Psychology, Sex, and Evolution,” Sheldon mused.

“I’m listening.” Penny perked up.

“It will cover a whole range of topics from dreams, intensity of sexual desire and how it varies between men and women.” Sheldon explained as Penny yawned right in his face.

“Well, if you’re not interested,” Sheldon shrugged. “I’ll go by myself to learn the answer to that age –old conundrum: why can’t we tickle ourselves?”

“I’m in.” Penny declared as Leonard began walking back to the living room.

Sheldon merely nodded.

X

 _Someday, Penny is going to just make love to Sheldon’s hands. She isn’t going to let him use any other part of his body. Just his hands. He runs one hand through her hair as the other places one, then two fingers inside her. Penny’s hips move to the rhythm his fingers set. His kisses are always soft when he touches her in this way. Soft gentle kisses that contrast with the thrusts and curls of the hand between her legs. Sheldon throws one leg over hers, pushing her legs apart roughly._

 _“Not yet.” Penny twines her leg around his. “This. This is nice.”_

 _His lips begin to caress her throat as he complies to her request. His fingers beat staccato against her sensitive flesh. Penny gasps at the feel of his teeth on her neck. The hardness pressing between them. The movement of his hand now gentle as his kisses increase in ferocity. She frees his leg from hers._

 _It seems they always give in. At least to each other._

X

Pounding. Pounding. Pounding at her door. She opened a bleary eye. Christ! It wasn’t even 8 o’clock! Penny whipped off her covers and stomped over to her door.

“Somebody better be dead.” She growled at Sheldon when she flung the door opened.

He strode into the apartment without asking permission and instantly began pacing. Penny watched as his strides became longer and longer. His corduroys rubbed against each other, filling the apartment with their whispers. As he walked, he muttered under his breath and waved his hands in the air. Penny blinked slowly. It was way too early for this. She walked over to her coffee maker and began to prepare it for brewing a very strong cup of coffee.

“Are you going to tell me what is bothering you,” She asked Sheldon. “Or are you going to wait until your pants catch on fire?”

He stopped mid-pace and glanced down at his thighs; she chuckled until he began his frantic walking again.

“Sheldon.” Penny said gently but he continued to ignore her. “Sheldon!” Not even her raised voice could penetrate the frenzy of anxiety that was revealing itself in all his jerks and twitches.

The coffeemaker burbled behind her. She tilted her head, thinking back to the lecture they went to yesterday.

 _It had been painfully boring but she managed to stay awake and Sheldon’s torpedoing under his breath of the lecturer’s sources and style kept her entertained. When they exited the lecture hall, the sun was setting. Penny loved this time of day when everything appeared to be slowing down. They walked toward her car when her arm shot out and grabbed Sheldon in the crook of his arm._

 _“Hey! That chick never explained why you can’t tickle yourself!”_

 _Sheldon looked down at her hand then at her face, “Was that your sole reason for attending?”_

 _“Well… yeah.” Penny replied._

 _“I see,” He sniffed and removed her hand so he could open the passenger side door. “In that case, since I wouldn’t want this afternoon to be a total waste, I will be happy to explain why it is impossible to tickle yourself.” Sheldon turned and leaned against her car door with his arms crossed over his chest. The sun coated one side of his face with deep orange so his eyes were lost in shadow. Penny thought of that first kiss in the laundry room. The kisses stolen as they walked up the stairs. The night she wedged her hand under his thigh as she sat next to him in 4A and they watched movies with Leonard, Howard and Raj. The way his eyes never left her face on Tuesday night as she took the guys’ order at the Cheesecake Factory. The realization that this was real and it was happening between the two of them raised goosebumps on her arms._

 _“Tickling relies on the element of surprise...” Sheldon began but his words were cut off as Penny covered his mouth hungrily. She pressed him against the door, twining her leg around one of his. She felt his hands hover around her before settling on her waist. His lips remained soft; Penny tugged gently on his lower lip until Sheldon picked up the hint to open his mouth slightly. She ran the tip of her tongue quickly against his, not wanting to push too much too soon. Sheldon’s hands wove through her hair and he held her mouth tightly against his for possibly hours or days. When Penny broke the kiss, the sky was now tinged with violet. Sheldon’s arms loosely encircled her waist; he rested his forehead against hers._

 _Penny tugged at the short hairs at the base of his skull, “I’m only going to say this once,” Her voice was low. She could feel Sheldon’s heart through the thin material of his vintage Flash shirt. “Don’t you ever think any time I spend with you is wasted time. Ever.”_

Penny poured her coffee. This bundle of agitation before her was a far cry from the man who had spent the rest of yesterday evening making out with her in her parking spot, on the stairwell and, all the lines of the Tall Man from Cornwall to the contrary, on her couch. Sheldon had finally staggered across the hall well past his bedtime with swollen lips and few small hickeys peppering his collarbone.

Sheldon gulped in a few mouthfuls of air. With his eyes wide like that and his gasps for air, he reminded her of when she had knocked her sister’s goldfish bowl over and the poor fish flopped all over the floor until Penny managed to scoop him into a cup of water.

“Penny, you know I don't like to lie, and I am feeling uncomfortable around Leonard now" Sheldon finally managed. “This morning, I had to eat pancakes because he asked me where I was last night.”

Penny took a slow sip, “So?”

“It’s Oatmeal Day!” Sheldon yelped. “Pancakes on Oatmeal Day.” He shook his head at the blasphemy of it all. “And not just ordinary pancakes. I had to make him Frodo ones to distract him.” Sheldon threw himself down on her couch. “I’m not sure my digestive system can handle this much disruption.”

Penny placed her coffee cup down. She sat beside Sheldon on the couch and picked up his hand. It tightened instantly around hers and that sense of utter “rightness” filled her again

“I don’t like lying either, Sheldon. When I’m not with you, all I can think about is how Amy would feel if she found out. I know Leonard won’t take it well,” Sheldon began to protest so she added hastily, “At first. But, he has moved on- he’s dated. But Amy,” Penny shook her head. “Amy has a lot invested in the two of us.” Penny’s eyes met his.

“Whatever do you mean?” Sheldon moved his hand. “My relationship with Amy is strictly platonic.”

“Maybe from your perspective,” Penny snorted, rising to return to her coffee. She kept her back to Sheldon and stared into the milky contents of her cup. “I suppose,” Penny spoke to the wall facing her. “I suppose we have been behaving badly.”

She tapped her fingernails on the counter, “We could go back to just being friends.”

She heard Sheldon move from the couch but she couldn’t bring herself to see if he was standing by her door. She gave a small shrug with her left shoulder, “It’s what we should do, if you want to know the truth.”

Sheldon hadn’t said a word and Penny was determined to keep her eyes fixed on her palm tree picture. The lump in her throat strangled her last word. She took in a shuddery breath. Clearly, she was alone in her apartment- Sheldon had made his decision and left- his silence speaking volumes.

She gave a loud sniff. Her fist clenched next to the coffee cup. Something brushed lightly down her arm. Sheldon’s hand ran down her right arm to cover her balled up fist with his hand. Penny felt the warmth in his palm and her hand relaxed under his.

“I can’t do that.” Sheldon said simply. “I won’t go back to that…that wanting and thinking I’ll never be able to have what I want. I just won’t.”

Penny’s eyes widened at his words, at all he just revealed to her in that one sentence. She turned until she was facing him.

“Then, we’ll have to lie, Sheldon,” She said simply. “We’ll have to lie until we figure things out. Can you do that?”

“Of course.” Sheldon said as he leaned in to kiss her. Penny closed her eyes so she wouldn’t see the twitch in his cheek.

X

 _He is deep inside her. His brows draw together as his thrusts deepen. Penny twines her legs around his and raises her hips to meet with him._

 _“Fuck, Sheldon.” The words escape her as she feels the quickening in her lower abdomen._

 _“Apparently.” He manages. Laughter threatens to bubble out of her, so she ducks her head into his shoulder, biting it to keep from laughing. He pauses briefly until she nudges him with her heel back into motion. In seconds, she can feel a small tremor within her._

 _“Now, Sheldon. Now.” She urges softly. He wraps his hand around the bed post and moves in earnest. A low groan from him and he is right there with her._

 _They are so, so good together._

X

“What were you thinking?!” Sheldon stormed into the Cheesecake Factory as Penny placed an order of nachos down. “What, in heaven’s name, were you thinking?”

“Sheldon, I’m kinda workin’ here.” Penny smiled apologetically at her customers.

He ignored her completely, “Yesterday, I went to a lecture that I have been waiting some time to attend only to have my enjoyment decimated by Amy’s constant pawing and mewling for attention.”

“Mewling for attention?” Penny repeated then headed to the beverage station with Sheldon on her heels. “What did she do?”

“She tried several times to hold my hand,” Sheldon spat. “As if we were at some drive-in instead of steeped in academia. Then, she kept whispering in my ear which I detest in general but found to be even more distasteful due to the fact that she wasn’t offering commentary on the topic at hand but rather felt the need to comment on my eyes and how nice I smelled.”

“Well, you do smell nice, Sweetie.”

“Be that as it may, I prefer not to have it discussed when I am surrounded by professional colleagues.” Sheldon fumed. “Anyway, we had to leave the lecture because people were beginning to stare and, as we walked back to her apartment, I asked her what had gotten into her and you know what she said?”

“I can only imagine.” Penny replied and loaded her tray with soft drinks.

“I don’t see why,” Sheldon snapped. “She was only following your advice.”

“Hold on a sec!” Penny placed the tray down. “I did not tell her to maul you in public. In fact I told her to be sure of how you felt before she made any moves. I mean, really Sheldon, what am I supposed to say? Oh, Amy, Sheldon really likes it when you nibble on just his left ear while running your fingers through his hair?”

Sheldon blushed a deep red.

“And you know what else?” Penny’s irritation was picking up steam. “How do you think it makes me feel to have to hand out dating advice to her regarding the guy that I am currently involved with?”

“I would imagine it does not make you feel good.” Sheldon muttered to the floor.

“You’re damn right it doesn’t.” Penny hefted her tray again to her shoulder. “But this is the path we’ve chosen. Now, if your little tirade is over, I have to go earn some money.”

“Penny!” Sheldon called after her. “What am I supposed to do about Amy?”

Penny turned to look at him. Suddenly, she felt so very tired. Tired of the secrets and tired of the strain that just being around Sheldon put on everyone’s life including hers. But he looked so lost there in the middle of the restaurant and she cared for him more than she could say out loud so instead of ignoring him, she spoke again.

“Tell her how you really feel about her, Sheldon,” Penny sighed. “Or tell her the truth. You are the only one who knows which one will hurt her less.

X

 _The clock on her nightstand changes to midnight. Sheldon jerks awake, waking Penny as well._

 _“What’s wrong?” She mumbles._

 _“I should leave.” Sheldon throws back the covers and begins gathering his clothes._

 _“Leave?” Penny cries. “You said Leonard wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.”_

 _“And now it is tomorrow.” Sheldon pulls on his socks. Penny rolls her eyes and falls back on the pillows._

 _“Leonard’s become increasingly antagonistic,” Sheldon continues. “He even trotted out the section of the Roommate Agreement that deals with absences from the apartment and notification of the other party yesterday.”_

 _“I told you that thing would bite you in the ass one day.” Penny watches him dress through lidded eyes._

 _Sheldon yanks his Batman shirt over his head then takes up his discarded underwear. He holds it up but can’t seem to progress from there._

 _“You could just run across the hall commando.” Penny suggests. She shrugs off his scathing look. “Or, you could put on the underwear that is in your overnight bag. As you pointed out, it is technically tomorrow” She lets the sheets slips down as she talks to him._

 _Sheldon’s eyes trace over her naked form; his hands clench. Penny pats the bed beside her. Unlike the time she dislocated her shoulder, Sheldon doesn’t even hesitate to crawl in beside her._

X

The secrecy was getting to him. He grew more fretful as time went on. Two months into their secret affair the strain began to show. It got worse once they had finally slept together. Sheldon jumped every time Leonard walked into the room if Penny was there. Getting time alone with Sheldon became increasingly more difficult; he was skittish to the point of paranoia, imagining every noise in her apartment was Leonard coming to storm down the door.

“Will you relax?” Penny cried in frustration when he had leapt away from her. The door had rattled in the frame as Sheldon pressed her up against it.

“Relax?” Sheldon yelped. “How can I possibly relax? Leonard is my closest friend and roommate and, despite that, I am committing the ultimate betrayal.”

“Ultimate betrayal?” Penny scoffed. “Sheldon, Leonard and I are not dating. We haven’t dated for some time. I know he will probably need time to adjust to this,” She waved her hand between her and Sheldon, “but he cares about both of us and would want us to be happy.”

Sheldon began pushing and pulling his sleeves up and down as she spoke. “What about Amy? She is over the moon about your friendship. Being included and accepted by one of the ‘cool kids’,” He made quotes in the air. “This will crush her, her feelings for me notwithstanding.”

Penny moved away from the door and slumped on the couch, “Don’t you think I know that, Sheldon?”

He sat beside her. Penny stared at the floor. The silence stretched between them.

“Sheldon,” Penny said suddenly. “How do you feel about me?”

“Ho boy.” He murmured.

“It’s a simple question.” Penny gave a half-smile.

Sheldon laced his fingers with hers. He rubbed his thumb over the top of hers. Once again, there is no conversation between them. Penny squeezed his hand which was limp in hers.

“Alright then.” Her voice was louder than she realized. “This can be very easy.” Penny rose from the couch. Sheldon’s hand slid from her grasp. She walked over to the door and placed her hand on the knob. “You should go.”

“Go?’ Sheldon blinked.

“Yes.” Penny cleared her throat to keep the lump in it from cutting off her words. “What is the point in torturing ourselves over nothing?”

Sheldon rested his hands on his knees. His mouth opened and closed a few times. Finally, he gave his head a shake and got up from the couch to stand in front of her. Penny resisted the urge to look up at him. Instead, she cast her glance over his shoulder.

“Are you,” Sheldon didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. They reached toward her face then fell back to his sides. In seconds, they were waving slightly about, nearly brushing a blond curl that’s freed itself from her ponytail before he clasped them in front of him. “Are you ending this between us?”

Penny lifted her chin but she wouldn’t let her eyes meet his or look at any part of his face, actually. Her nod was abrupt.

“It’ll be easier,” She opened her door and stepped behind it so Sheldon had full berth to pass through. He stopped with his back to her.

“Easier for everyone?”

“No, Sweetie. Just for you.” She managed to close her door before the tears fell.

X

Penny watches as Sheldon sits with his untouched slice of pizza on his lap. She wishes she could send out thought waves to get him to eat. Amy is on the middle cushion; Leonard is in the armchair. Both watch as Sheldon picks listlessly at the congealing cheese on his plate.

“Something wrong with your pizza, Buddy?” Leonard finally asks.

Sheldon starts as if he is shocked to find all these people in his apartment.

“No.” Sheldon sighs. Penny rolls her eyes. Could he be more obvious? It killed her to be here, but Amy had begged her to come over. She has promised herself that she will leave once Howard and Bernadette arrive. She can only pretend for so long.

She is tired from lack of sleep and working double shifts to avoid being at home. Sheldon, she knows, goes through his daily routine but she no longer hears the banter between him and Leonard as they leave for work. The silence that grew in her apartment the last night they were together has taken up residence across the hall.

Amy shifts her gaze from Sheldon to Penny. When Penny meets her eyes, Amy jerks her head toward the kitchen then rises from the couch. Sheldon doesn’t react to Amy but his brows draw together when Penny follows. Amy walks over to the sink and places her dish in it. Penny stands beside her, baffled.

“I know what’s going on.” Amy says quietly. She begins to fill the sink with hot soapy water.

“You do!” Penny is incredulous but then changes her tone. “I mean, you do?”

“I’m going to speak frankly, Bestie,” Amy swirls the dishes in the water. “While I know my interactions with you bordered on hero worship potentially crossing the line into some subconscious Sapphic attraction,” Penny moves a step away but Amy continues as if she doesn’t notice. “The fact remains that my powers of deduction and reasoning far surpass yours.”

Penny looks over at Sheldon who is nodding listlessly as Leonard attempts to engage him in conversation.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” She looks Amy straight in the eye.

Amy rinses the two dishes and places them on the drying rack, “I am talking about you and Sheldon. Specifically, your relationship with him.

“Sheldon and I don’t have a relationship,” Penny replies. We’re friends. That’s all.”

“Penny,” Amy’s voice is calm. “If the feelings between you and Sheldon were solely platonic in nature, do you really think I would be having this incredibly difficult conversation right now?”

Penny picks at the turquoise polish on her nails. Leonard is now taking DVD after DVD out and holding each one up in another attempt to engage Sheldon.

“Are you mad?” Penny asks. “Neither one of us ever wanted to hurt you.”

“It’s not the worst thing that has ever been done to me,” Amy admits. “I played a lot of harp music and drank a lot of cheap wine but Leonard reminded me,”

Penny’s ears perk up, “Leonard reminded you?”

“Yes,” Amy continues nonplussed. “We’ve been chatting these past months trying to determine the cause of Sheldon’s erratic behavior. Leonard actually believed Sheldon had finally gone round the bend until we started to put the pieces together and then it was glaringly obvious.”

“Sounds like you two have developed quite a rapport.” Penny nudges Amy with her elbow.

Amy’s eyes are cold, “All is not forgiven that easily, Penny but, yes, Leonard and I have quite a bit of common ground. As I was saying, Leonard reminded me that Sheldon has always maintained that my relationship with him was one of the mind and, to be honest, I think I was forcing the issue. Sheldon can only handle so much- I’m too much woman for him.”

Penny gives a soft chuckle, “You’re too much woman for all of us, Amy.”

Amy’s smile is brief before she is all business once more, “Now, what are we going to do abut that sad sack on the couch over there. He can kill a mood like nobody’s business.”

Penny glances at Sheldon. His eyes are staring unfocused at the screen. Leonard looks over at the two women in his kitchen. His smile is tight, not reaching his eyes. Penny realizes that Leonard and Amy are trying, trying so hard, as did Sheldon in his own way. She walks back over to the couch and sits beside him. The surprise that registers on his face when she takes his hand makes her smile.

She can try, too.

Fin.


End file.
